Last night for our meeting time, instead of teaching we practiced worship. We are made to worship, and it helps to keep things in their correct perspective when we do. In other words, it makes me put my focus where it belongs, on God, and off where it doesn’t, on me alone. I truly believe one reason we struggle so much in our walk is that we have a lack of deep, intimate and real worship. We settle for a quick verse of the day and a couple of songs from KLove instead of consuming ourselves with the wonderful reality that is our God. Worship refocuses, renews, reawakens and revives us. We must practice this discipline more if we expect to see things correctly and find the joy we long for.

                So last night we all practiced worship in different ways, one of which was to try and write out what we feel about God and His love for us and what that means to us. There were some good reflections shared on this last night, unfortunately I didn’t get copies of any of them. So here’s what I wrote, just my reflections on my God.

                I have nothing, yet have everything. I am worthless, yet I am priceless. I am a traitor, yet I am beloved. I am unfaithful, yet I am righteous. I am blind, yet I see. All I am, all I have, all I know, all I will be is because of Jesus. There is no me without Him. Everything I know about life, love, faith, forgiveness is because He taught me when I did not care or love Him. Even my love for Him is not because I’m good, but because He took the initiative and loved me first. I worry about prestige when I already have the only title that matters, His…saved…forgiven…taken…redeemed. I am fixed, but not fully until he returns. So for now I see things darkly, the shifting shadows fool and entice me, my affections are easily swayed. Yet my position is not changed, so even in my weakness I am constantly pursued and wooed.  My Lord, my Master, my Love is fierce for me. A mighty warrior He tears down all obstacles I throw up and leads me to life. He is fearful and majestic and holy. The stars hold their breath when His brilliance passes them by. The sun bows down in winder and awe. The wind blows only to cover the earth with a sense of His presence. His holiness melts away everything…everything. He is justice unbridled, truth incarnate, righteousness revealed and none can stand His presence. There is nowhere to flee his correct wrath, but I do not run because I am guilty yet innocent. I am destroyed, yet I am redeemed. I am sinner, yet holy. This is too much for me, and I quake to even think on it. For You are so wonderful, and yet mindful of me. All glory is due You. If I were to sing Your praises the rest of my days, I will have yet to begun to describe Your boundaries. My heart runs from You yet I long for You. You do not complete me, You make me completely. From my beginning to end You have laid out my steps and numbered my days. There is nothing to me that is not Yours completely. Use me. Pour out from my voice Your love, truth, hope and faith. Teach me to be a witness. Fill me with Your Spirit and send me to Your people. My words ache to be Yours, to be filled with meaning and purpose. I AM YOURS. Remind me. Hem me in behind and before. Never let my heart wander from You my hope, my joy and meaning. Change my heart. Teach me to love You oh my God!

                How about you? Have you worshipped God intentionally lately? Why don’t you do it now?

              Last Friday was a big day in our household…no, it was momentous. You see last Friday was the district UIL meet for the elementary school, and my oldest Jentri was competing in two events. This was such a big deal mainly because it meant she had to practice after school since last semester on random days for random amounts of time resulting in her father continually being late to pick up her up or forgetting her altogether, and now that was over, Selah (This is a biblical thing, google it). Oh yeah, this was also a big deal because she was competing in Ready Writing and Storytelling, and last year she placed 2^nd in storytelling and did not place in creative writing. So to say hopes and dreams and expectations were all running very high would be quite an understatement especially since we’re dealing with a eight year old girl.   

                When I arrived at the meet near the end, I was mobbed by Jentri and told how she had won 1^st place in Ready Writing, and was eagerly awaiting the results of storytelling. She was acting a little weird (again, hard to define what that looks like the a eight year old girl) and bouncing around a lot which didn’t make sense until she told me she had used the voucher the school had given her to buy and eat 2 snickers and some sour ropes. After a ridiculously long period of time, they finally announced the results, starting with 6^th place and counting down. When they announced second place and Jentri realized that is was someone else and that she had won she screamed (like a girl) and hugged all her friends.

                Man, I was proud of her right then. She is so smart and creative it didn’t surprise me at all to see her do well, but it pleased me immensely to see her enjoying the fruit of her hard work. But do you know, that wasn’t the best thing she did that day? Hours later when we got home, everyone was pretty tired out. I sat on the couch and was joined immediately by Aleigh, my 3 year old, on one side and Jentri on the other. I honestly think I might be a black hole that only attracts my children whenever I sit down, because the minute I do the all are inexorably drawn to gather on my lap, arms, back or wherever they can get. There are actually fights about who gets to sit with Daddy. But that night, none of that happened, just two of my girls by my side. Aleigh eventually wondered off, but Jentri sat right there, arms wrapped around one of mine with her knees drawn up to her chest with her head right by mine. She slowly leaned over and started rubbing her cheek on mine, and after awhile smiled and said, “I love how your whiskers are scratchy.”

                It was at that moment that I was most pleased and proud of my daughter that day. Because while it is great and good that she won first place in two hard events at her district UIL meet, I do not love and enjoy her because she is smart and does things well. I love her because she is my daughter, and what thrills my soul is not when she does things, even great things but when she simply lets herself be my daughter and love me as her father. My day was made that night on the couch, not at the UIL meet.

                How silly we are not to realize that things work the same way with God. We feel this overpowering need to perform and produce in order to please God and to make Him love us or even like us, and spend so much time doing things to impress Him or to appease Him, that we feel like we can never do enough or be good enough to really be liked, much less loved by Him. Why do we think God requires us to do things for Him to love us? The cross was nothing we did, and is all that is required for us to be loved by God. He loves us first, and is waiting for us to love Him back, not do things for Him. Yet as we spend all our time and effort to usually grudgingly do things for God never realizing that what he wants is just us. A friend sent me an email the other day and had a profound thought, “Remember, God is not nearly has concerned with the produce of your life has He is the character of your life.  Anything He wants done He can do without you.  The one thing He can’t do is have a relationship with you without you.  That’s His primary agenda.  Enjoy Him and let Him enjoy you.” We’ve known this for so long, and yet we forget! As a matter of fact in the 1640’s the Westminster Shorter Catechism wrote as its first question and answer, “What is man’s primary purpose? To love God and enjoy Him forever.” The Psalmist put it this way in Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know I am God.” Be still and love Him. Selah.

That’s what Jentri did with me that night, and that’s what must learn to do with God. So I don’t know how it needs to look for you, or what method you might need to take to do it, but quit being so busy for God, and crawl up on His lap and rub your cheek against His and love Him. How have you loved God lately?  

So nothing really from me today, thought instead I'd share a little bit with you about Bob Goff, founder of Restore International, you can find his blog at  http://bobgoff.com/. Bob is a lawyer, and before you prejudge him, know that the foundation he started is dedicated to somthing worthwhile.  "Restore International was birthed out of a passion for justice and a desire to get to the “do” part of life and faith. It has quickly grown into a world-wide organization. Now consisting of two US based offices and several international locations, Restore is pursuing audacious ways to restore justice to children and the poorest of the poor around the world. Restore is comprised of a dedicated group of people committed to ending human rights abuses towards children by moving from awareness of injustice, to action. Without justice, there will be no real peace; without love and compassion, there will be no justice." Since we've been talking and thinking so much about how to stop oppression and really learning to seek out the needy, I thought I'd read the blog of someone who is actually doing those things. As I read this entry, it just struck me so I thought I'd share it with you. Hope it impacts you like it did me. Enjoy!

We Leak What We Love

Posted by Bob Goff.

I’m taking the surgeon who repaired the damage done by a witch doctor to a brave little Ugandan boy out flying in a seaplane I have up the Pacific Northwest today. This doctor did what seemed impossible to me. He made new body parts out of old ones for this little boy. This trip is a small thank you for what he did. He loves to fly, and I’m delighted that I can help make that happen.

The plane is called a DeHavilland Beaver and it takes off and lands on the water. I can’t lie, this plane is tough, it’s rugged, it’s all guy. There’s no sound quite like the one it makes when it’s huge radial engine starts and a cloud of oil soaked blue smoke explodes out of it. Because it was built over fifty years ago, the engine leaks oil. Not a little oil; lots of it. There’s nothing wrong with the plane, it’s just what Beavers were designed in the factory to do; they leak. The oil gets on the windows, on the wings, on the passengers, on everything. It’s just great! People who own Beavers say with tongue in cheek, that you know when they’ve run out of oil, because they stop leaking.

I understand more about my faith when I think about that Beaver. We were made to leak as well; we were made to leak Jesus. We’re the ones who are supposed to love each other extravagantly, spontaneously, not just on Wednesday nights or Sunday mornings. And when we do, people might look at us a little funny, like there’s something wrong with us. But there isn’t. It’s what we were made to do. When we love each other extravagantly, our love gets on everybody and everything.

I know when I’m fearful, stressed out, distracted or hedging too. In those times, it feels like I’ve run out of love and what I notice always happens first, is that I stop leaking. My love isn’t as messy or spontaneous anymore. It doesn’t get on anything. It comes across as painfully polite, merely pleasant, barely tolerant, it’s somewhere in the mid-range rather that an explosion from a big engine and lots of blue smoke. When I stop leaking, I’m reminded that I’m not living the way I was designed to from the factory.

I’ve seen new parts made out of old ones by this surgeon. I’ve seen God do the same impossible thing with entire people. People like me. He takes the old version of us and whispers to us that we were made to leak our love. He tells us to do it with extravagance; to let it get on everything and everybody. What I like about the way God extravagantly loves us, is that He doesn’t make us love Him or anyone else either. Instead, He lets us decide every day whether we’ll play it safe or leak what we love.

When I get out of that plane this afternoon it will have oil all over it; I’ll have oil all over me and I’ll smile hoping that everyone who’s been near you will have evidence of what you love all over them too.

Jeremiah 6:19 Hear, O earth; behold, I am bringing disaster upon this people, the fruit of their devices, because they have not paid attention to my words; and as for my law, they have rejected it.

I was reading this verse as part of my quiet time today, and really it made me think of Willy Wonka. I know, kind of a weird picture, but that is really the first thought that came to my head. First off, let me clarify and say I am talking about the old Willy Wonka and have never seen the new one, but I don’t see how Johnny Depp could be much creepier than Gene Wilder as he leads the contest winners through the factory. Ok, I guess a little context might be in order for those of you who do not know this film. So here’s Wikipedia’s synopsis:

The story centers around an average boy named Charlie Bucket, who lives in extreme poverty with his extended family, and his adventures inside the chocolate factory of Willy Wonka. Fifteen years prior to the beginning of the story, Willy Wonka opened the largest chocolate factory in the world, but spies stole his recipes, so he eventually closed the factory to the public. Although, it wasn't closed forever and one day he decided to allow five children to visit the factory. Each child will win a lifetime supply of chocolate after the factory tour. The children have to find one of the five golden tickets hidden inside the wrapping paper of random Wonka bars. Augustus Gloop (a boy who eats constantly), Veruca Salt (a girl who is spoiled), Violet Beauregarde (a girl who chews gum all day), Mike Teavee (a boy who loves to watch television), and Charlie Bucket win tickets and visit the factory.

The factory is full of strange and fantastical rooms, including a chocolate-mixing room that looks like a huge garden, where everything is made of candy and there is a chocolate lake in the middle, a research and development room with dozens of complex machines designing new forms of candy, a nut-sorting room with an army of trained squirrels that sort the good nuts from the bad, and a TV studio-like room with a giant "Wonkavision" camera, which can teleport giant bars of chocolate into people's homes through their television. The factory is staffed by small, pygmy-like men called Oompa-Loompas. A pink Viking sugar boat and a special glass elevator (with walls covered in buttons) take the tour group from room to room; the elevator can go "up and down, sideways, slantways, and any other ways you can think of."

"Accidents" happen while on the guided tour. Augustus falls in the chocolate lake and gets accidentally sucked up and taken away to the room where they make the most delicious kind of strawberry-flavoured chocolate-coated fudge. Violet, ignoring Wonka's advice, tries some of his three-course-dinner gum in the R&D department and swells up like a blueberry upon reaching the blueberry pie dessert. While in the nut-sorting room Veruca, after a failed attempt to obtain a goose who lays the golden egg by getting her father to buy one, attempts to steal one herself – the Oompa-Loompas deem her a 'bad egg' and throw her down the garbage chute (her father then dives down the chute to save her). Mike tries to use the Television Chocolate machine – a machine that sends chocolate bars via television and allows someone to literally take the bar from the screen – and ends up shrunken to about 6 inches high. Charlie, being the only child left and the one Wonka likes the most, wins the prize: he will one day take over the factory from Wonka, Wonka wanting to pass his factory on to someone else but wanting to choose a child so that he won't have to deal with an adult trying to do things his way rather than learn from Wonka's experience. Wonka, Charlie and Grandpa Joe board the Great Glass Elevator, which bursts through the roof. As they float in the air, they witness the other four children returning home. The pipe has made Augustus thin as a straw and he is still covered in chocolate, Violet is drained of her blueberry juice but her face is tinged purple, Veruca and her parents are covered with garbage, and Mike is overstretched and is now overtall and extremely skinny.”

                The trouble is, although Wonka continually tried to warn the children away from what they were doing by pointing out the horrendous results that would occur if they continued on in their actions, they nevertheless continued on with their selfish desires until they ultimately got what they were seeking after, including all the horrible consequences. They were so focused on what they wanted and what they were going to do that they ignored the warnings they received and in the end they got what they deserved. They were so captivated by their own desires and lusts that they sought after what they did not need and got what they did not want. If they had simply listened and obeyed, not only would they have been safe, but they would have gotten in the end all the glories of the factory.

                So…what about Jeremiah 6:19? The verse comes in the middle of what is a section (2:1-6:30) on the fact that God’s people have been conventally unfaithful. That they have committed adultery by seeking things other than God, and that even after God has pleaded with them to return they have steadfastly refused. The end result of that is verse 19. God is bringing disaster upon His own people. How? By giving them exactly what they want and allowing them to do whatever they want. The kicker there being, they must also receive “the fruit” or the end result of their decisions and choices which is disaster, specifically in the form of Babylon coming and conquering them and carrying the majority of their population off into captivity. Why? Because God warned them but they wouldn’t listen and just reached out and grabbed for everything that caught their eye and now they must pay the consequences of their actions.

                When I read this verse it made me think immediately of Violet who grabbed the gum that tasted so good at first, until it turned her into a blueberry. Funny in the movies, sobering when I think how often I have grabbed forbidden things in my selfishness that tasted good at first only to find how they had forever altered me. What a horrible thing it is to experience the passive judgment of God, as He allows me to do what I want, and then to reap what I sow. Reminds me of Hosea 8:7, “For they sow the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind.” Ever thought that the worst thing in the world might simply be for God to let you do what you want and to go after whatever it is your heart desires?

                We should never despise the discipline of God. Those times when He yanks our chains and steadfastly refuses to give in to our self-centered hearts which scream out, “Mine, mine, mine, I want, I want, I want!!!” When He in love breaks us down and we despise Him for it, asking why me and why it always seems to happen to us. We so easily get angry with God, never realizing we are like the petulant teenager who when they are forbidden by their parent from doing something life threatening storm off screaming, “I hate you!!” Oh that we would mature enough to realize that, “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. Revelation 3:19” Do we ever comprehend how God is stopping us from sowing something that we could never reap?

                I personally am trying to be more thankful for those times of discipline, when God will not give me what I want and in so doing saving me from having to reap the horrible consequences of what I would do. How has God disciplined you that you perhaps resented only to find out later that God was really sparing you?

I don’t normally do this, but today I think I’ll make an exception. The following is an excerpt on a verse I was studying during my quiet time, where I am currently going through the book of Jeremiah. Truth be told, Jeremiah has spoken much to me as I go through it this time, and I see the reality all too often of how I do not see God correctly and put Him in His correct place in my life, and Jeremiah is ruthlessly honest and brutal in calling out our sinful ways. Take for example this verse,  Jeremiah 2:20 "For long ago I broke your yoke and burst your bonds; but you said, 'I will not serve.' yes, on every high hill and under every green tree you bowed down like a whore.” OUCH. Every time I turn to something besides God for anything, I am like a prostitute who lays down in front of everyone to sell myself. Uncomfortable with that imagery in this blog? I am, even more so with it in my Bible, until I realize that God is using this harsh (i.e. brutally honest) language to show us how serious He takes it when we trust in things other than Him. He is all we need, and He is here to turn to, why are we looking elsewhere? With that in mind here are some of my thought on Jeremiah 4:4. After you read, I would love to hear your thoughts on this verse in the comments section.

Jeremiah 4:4 Circumcise yourselves to the LORD; remove the foreskin of your hearts, O men of Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem; lest my wrath go forth like fire, and burn with none to quench it, because of the evil of your deeds."

God is not going to identify us by outward signs, but if we have the signs of the covenant in our hearts. If we allow God to mark our hearts and to radically change them for Him, then our outward behavior will also change. But only in this order! God changes us from the inside out…heart change to life change. This is unfakeable and lasting, even if we wander once marked we will always return to Him. The call of Him, His touch upon our lives, His hands on our hearts are never forgotten and always drive us…away from Him due to shame and misunderstanding of His love as we seek Him in other gods that leave us empty, dry and aching in a dark land that will never be home; or directly into his arms understanding that the only cure to our brokenness and wandering heart is to fall into the just and righteous arms of the one who created us and knows us better than ourselves. In the quiet when no one is around we know this is true and that we are always drawn to and away from God at the same time, but we can never be rid of Him. And if we honestly examine these fickle hearts of ours and our seemingly never ending desire to appease our needs on empty and dead idols that we know only increase our needs and steal away from us what little we have,  we see that what we long for is the firm hand of God cutting out hearts with His mark, taking away all we thought we needed and opening our eyes to the realization that all we ever desired was always found in His grasp, in Him. If we’re honest we realize every day anew our desperate need for Him to carve his mark on our heart anew. When will we grow tired of seeking the reality that can only be found dwelling in his hands, in every place but Him? When will we realize our failings are always found in the reality that we are looking for God everywhere, never stopping long enough to know He dwells in our hearts and let Him imprint His mark in us again.